The Twelve Idle Servants

Twelve servants who had done nothing all day didn't want to work at night either. They lay down on the grass and bragged about how lazy they were.

The first said, "What do I care about your laziness? I have to worry about my own. Taking care of my body is my main job. I eat a lot and drink even more. After four meals, I fast a little until I'm hungry again. That suits me best. Getting up early isn't for me. When it's nearly noon, I start looking for a place to rest. If the master calls, I pretend I didn't hear him. If he calls again, I wait a bit before getting up and walk to him very slowly. That way, life is bearable."

The second said, "I have a horse to take care of, but I leave the bit in its mouth. If I don't feel like it, I give it no food and say it already ate. I lie down in the oat chest and sleep for four hours. Then I stretch out one foot and move it a couple of times over the horse's body, and it's combed and clean. Who wants to make a big deal out of that? But still, work is too hard for me."

The third said, "Why bother with work? Nothing comes of it! I lay in the sun and fell asleep. It started to rain a little, but why should I get up? I let it rain, for heaven's sake. Then a heavy shower came and pulled the hair right out of my head and washed it away. I got a hole in my skull. I put a plaster on it, and it was fine. I've had several injuries like that."

The fourth said, "If I have to do a job, I first loaf around for an hour to save up my strength. Then I start very slowly and ask if anyone can help me. I let them do the main work while I just watch. But even that is too much for me."

The fifth said, "What does that matter? Imagine, I have to clean out the horse's stable and load the cart. I go slowly, and if I pick up something with the fork, I only lift it halfway, then rest a quarter of an hour before I finally toss it in. It's plenty if I fill one cart a day. I'm not going to kill myself with work."

The sixth said, "Shame on you! I'm not afraid of work, but I lie down for three weeks without once taking off my clothes. What's the point of buckling your shoes? I don't care if they fall off. If I go up stairs, I drag one foot slowly to the first step, then count the rest so I know where to rest."

The seventh said, "That won't work for me. My master watches over my work, but he's not home all day. I don't neglect anything. I run as fast as possible when one crawls. To get going, four strong men have to push me with all their might. Once I came across six men lying asleep on a bed. I lay down beside them and slept too. No one could wake me, and when they wanted to take me home, they had to carry me."

The eighth said, "I can see I'm the only active one. If a stone lies in my path, I don't bother lifting my legs to step over it. I lie down on the ground, and if I get wet and muddy, I stay there until the sun dries me. At most, I turn around so the sun can shine on me."

The ninth said, "That's the way! Today bread was in front of me, but I was too lazy to take it and nearly died of hunger. A jug stood by it, but it was so big and heavy I didn't want to lift it, so I stayed thirsty. Turning myself was too much; I lay like a log all day."

The tenth said, "Laziness brought me misfortune: a broken leg and a swollen calf. Three of us were lying on the road with our legs stretched out. Someone came with a cart, and the wheels rolled over me. I could have pulled my legs back, but I didn't hear the cart because the midges were buzzing in my ears and crawling in and out of my nose and mouth. Who wants to bother driving them away?"

The eleventh said, "Yesterday I quit my job. I didn't want to carry heavy books for my master anymore. There was no end to it. But to tell the truth, he fired me and wouldn't keep me because the clothes I left lying in the dust were moth-eaten. I'm glad about it."

The twelfth said, "Today I had to drive the cart into the country. I made a bed of straw on it and had a good sleep. The reins slipped out of my hand, and when I woke, the horse had nearly broken loose.

The harness was gone, the strap was gone, and so were the collar, bridle, and bit. Someone had taken them all. On top of that, the cart was stuck in a muddy hole. I left it there and stretched out on the straw again.

Finally, the master came and pushed the cart out. If he hadn't come, I'd still be lying there, fast asleep."