GOODMAN AXEHAFT

There was once a ferryman who was so hard of hearing he could neither hear nor understand anything anyone said to him. He had a wife and a daughter, and they did not care a fig for the ferryman, but lived in mirth and jollity as long as there was anything to live on, and then they took to running up a bill with the innkeeper, and gave parties, and had feasts every day.

So when no one would trust them any longer, the sheriff was to come and seize their goods for what they owed and had wasted. Then the wife and her daughter set off for her relatives, and left the deaf husband behind, all alone, to see the sheriff and the bailiff.

Well, there stood the man and pottered about and wondered what the sheriff wanted to ask, and what he should say when he came.

"If I take to doing something," he said to himself, "he'll be sure to ask me something about it.

I'll just begin to cut out an axe handle, so when he asks me what that is to be, I shall answer, 'Axe handle.' Then he'll ask how long it is to be, and I'll say, 'Up as far as this twig that sticks out.' Then he'll ask, 'What's become of the ferryboat?' and I'll say, 'I am going to tar her; and yonder she lies on the shore, split at both ends.' Then he'll ask, 'Where's your grey mare?' and I'll answer, 'She is standing in the stable, big with foal.' Then he'll ask, 'Whereabouts is your sheepcote and shelter?' and I'll say, 'Not far off; when you get a bit up the hill you'll soon see them.'"

All this he thought well-planned.

A little while after in came the sheriff; he was true to time, but as for his man, he had gone another way round by an inn, and there he sat still drinking.

"Good day, sir," he said.

"Axe handle," said the ferryman.

"So, so," said the sheriff. "How far off is it to the inn?"

"Right up to this twig," said the man, and pointed a little way up the piece of timber.

The sheriff shook his head and stared at him open-mouthed.

"Where is your mistress, pray?"

"I am just going to tar her," said the ferryman, "for yonder she lies on the shore, split open at both ends."

"Where is your daughter?"

"Oh, she stands in the stable, big with foal," answered the man, who thought he answered very much to the purpose.

"Oh, go to hell with you," said the sheriff.

"Very good; 'tis not so far off; when you get a bit up the hill, you'll soon get there," said the man.

So the sheriff was floored, and went away.

THE COMPANION.

Once on a time there was a farmer's son who dreamt that he was to marry a princess far, far out in the world. She was as red and white as milk and blood, and so rich there was no end to her riches. When he awoke he seemed to see her still standing bright and living before him, and he thought her so sweet and lovely that his life was not worth having unless he had her too. So he sold all he had, and set off into the world to find her out. Well, he went far, and farther than far, and about winter he came to a land where all the high-roads lay right straight on end; there wasn't a bend in any of them. When he had wandered on and on for a quarter of a year he came to a town, and outside the church door lay a big block of ice, in which there stood a dead body, and the whole parish spat on it as they passed by to church. The lad wondered at this, and when the priest came out of church he asked him what it all meant.

"It is a great wrongdoer," said the priest. "He has been executed for his ungodliness, and set up there to be mocked and spat upon."

"But what was his wrongdoing?" asked the lad.

"When he was alive here he was a vintner," said the priest, "and he mixed water with his wine."

The lad thought that no such dreadful sin.

"Well," he said, "after he has atoned for it with his life, you might as well have let him have Christian burial and peace after death."

But the priest said that could not be in any wise, for there must be folk to break him out of the ice, and money to buy a grave from the church; then the gravedigger must be paid for digging the grave, and the sexton for tolling the bell, and the clerk for singing the hymns, and the priest for sprinkling dust over him.

"Do you think now there would be any one who would be willing to pay all this for an executed sinner?"

"Yes," said the lad. "If he could only get him buried in Christian earth, he would be sure to pay for his funeral ale out of his scanty means."

Even after that the priest hemmed and hawed; but when the lad came with two witnesses, and asked him right out in their hearing if he could refuse to sprinkle dust over the corpse, he was forced to answer that he could not.

So they broke the vintner out of the block of ice, and laid him in Christian earth, and they tolled the bell and sang hymns over him, and the priest sprinkled dust over him, and they drank his funeral ale till they wept and laughed by turns; but when the lad had paid for the ale he hadn't many pence left in his pocket.

He set off on his way again, but he hadn't got far ere a man overtook him who asked if he did not think it dull work walking on all alone.

No; the lad did not think it dull. "I have always something to think about," he said.

Then the man asked if he wouldn't like to have a servant.

"No," said the lad; "I am wont to be my own servant, therefore I have need of none; and even if I wanted one ever so much, I have no means to get one, for I have no money to pay for his food and wages."

"You do need a servant, that I know better than you," said the man, "and you have need of one whom you can trust in life and death. If you won't have me as a servant, you may take me as your companion; I give you my word I will stand you in good stead, and it shan't cost you a penny. I will pay my own fare, and as for food and clothing, you shall have no trouble about them."

Well, on those terms he was willing enough to have him as his companion; so after that they travelled together, and the man for the most part went on ahead and showed the lad the way.

So after they had travelled on and on from land to land, over hill and wood, they came to a crossfell that stopped the way. There the companion went up and knocked, and bade them open the door; and the rock opened sure enough, and when they got inside the hill up came an old witch with a chair, and asked them, "Be so good as to sit down. No doubt ye are weary."

"Sit on it yourself," said the man. So she was forced to take her seat, and as soon as she sat down she stuck fast, for the chair was such that it let no one loose that came near it. Meanwhile they went about inside the hill, and the companion looked round till he saw a sword hanging over the door. That he would have, and if he got it he gave his word to the old witch that he would let her loose out of the chair.

"Nay, nay," she screeched out; "ask me anything else. Anything else you may have, but not that, for it is my Three-Sister Sword; we are three sisters who own it together."

Very well; then you may sit there till the end of the world," said the man. But when she heard that, she said he might have it if he would set her free.

So he took the sword and went off with it, and left her still sitting there.

When they had gone far, far away over naked fells and wide wastes, they came to another crossfell. There, too, the companion knocked and bade them open the door, and the same thing happened as happened before; the rock opened, and when they had got a good way into the hill another old witch came up to them with a chair and begged them to sit down. "Ye may well be weary," she said.

"Sit down yourself," said the companion. And so she fared as her sister had fared, she did not dare to say nay, and as soon as she came on the chair she stuck fast. Meanwhile the lad and his companion went about in the hill, and the man broke open all the chests and drawers till he found what he sought, and that was a golden ball of yarn. That he set his heart on, and he promised the old witch to set her free if she would give him the golden ball. She said he might take all she had, but that she could not part with; it was her Three-Sister Ball. But when she heard that she should sit there till Doomsday unless he got it, she said he might take it all the same if he would only set her free. So the companion took the golden ball, but he left her sitting where she sat.

So on they went for many days, over waste and wood, till they came to a third crossfell. There all went as it had gone twice before. The companion knocked, the rock opened, and inside the hill an old witch came up, and asked them to sit on her chair, they must be tired. But the companion said again, "Sit on it yourself," and there she sat. They had not gone through many rooms before they saw an old hat which hung on a peg behind the door. That the companion must and would have; but the old witch couldn't part with it. It was her Three-Sister Hat, and if she gave it away, all her luck would be lost. But when she heard that she would have to sit there till the end of the world unless he got it, she said he might take it if he would only let her loose. When the companion had got well hold of the hat, he went off, and bade her sit there still, like the rest of her sisters.

After a long, long time, they came to a Sound; then the companion took the ball of yarn, and threw it so hard against the rock on the other side of the stream that it bounded back, and after he had thrown it backwards and forwards a few times it became a bridge. On that bridge they went over the Sound, and when they reached the other side, the man bade the lad to be quick and wind up the yarn again as soon as he could, for, said he, "If we don't wind it up quick, all those witches will come after us, and tear us to bits."

So the lad wound and wound with all his might and main, and when there was no more to wind than the very last thread, up came the old witches on the wings of the wind. They flew to the water, so that the spray rose before them, and snatched at the end of the thread; but they could not quite get hold of it, and so they were drowned in the Sound.

When they had gone on a few days further, the companion said, "Now we are soon coming to the castle where she is, the princess of whom you dreamt, and when we get there, you must go in and tell the king what you dreamt, and what it is you are seeking."

So when they reached it he did what the man told him, and was very heartily welcomed. He had a room for himself, and another for his companion, which they were to live in, and when dinner time drew near, he was bidden to dine at the king's own table. As soon as ever he set eyes on the princess he knew her at once, and saw it was she of whom he had dreamt as his bride. Then he told her his business, and she answered that she liked him well enough, and would gladly have him; but first he must undergo three trials. So when they had dined she gave him a pair of golden scissors, and said, "The first proof is that you must take these scissors and keep them, and give them to me at midday tomorrow.

It is not so very great a trial, I fancy," she said, and made a face; "but if you can't stand it, you lose your life; it is the law, and so you will be drawn and quartered, and your body will be stuck on stakes, and your head over the gate, just like those lovers of mine, whose skulls and skeletons you see outside the king's castle."

"That is no such great art," thought the lad.

But the princess was so merry and mad, and flirted so much with him, that he forgot all about the scissors and himself, and so while they played and sported, she stole the scissors away from him without his knowing it. When he went up to his room at night, and told how he had fared, and what she had said to him, and about the scissors she gave him to keep, the companion said, "Of course you have the scissors safe and sure."

Then he searched in all his pockets; but there were no scissors, and the lad was in a sad way when he found them wanting.

"Well! well!" said the companion; "I'll see if I can't get you them again."

With that he went down into the stable, and there stood a big, fat billygoat, which belonged to the princess, and it was of that breed that it could fly many times faster through the air than it could run on land. So he took the Three-Sister Sword, and gave it a stroke between the horns, and said, "When rides the princess to see her lover tonight?"

The billygoat bleated, and said it dared not say, but when it had another stroke, it said the princess was coming at eleven o'clock. Then the companion put on the Three-Sister Hat, and all at once he became invisible, and so he waited for her. When she came, she took and rubbed the billygoat with an ointment which she had in a great horn, and said, "Away, away, o'er roof tree and steeple, o'er land, o'er sea, o'er hill, o'er dale, to my true love who awaits me in fell this night."

At the very moment that the goat set off, the companion threw himself on behind, and away they went like a blast through the air. They were not long on the way, and in a trice they came to a crossfell. There she knocked, and so the goat passed through the fell to the Troll, who was her lover.

"Now, my dear," she said, "a new lover is come, whose heart is set on having me. He is young and handsome but I will have no other than you," and so she coaxed and petted the Troll. "So I set him a trial, and here are the scissors he was to watch and keep; now do you keep them," she said.

So the two laughed heartily, just as though they had the lad already on wheel and stake.

"Yes! yes!" said the Troll; "I'll keep them safe enough. And I shall sleep on the bride's white arm, while ravens round his skeleton swarm." And so he laid the scissors in an iron chest with three locks; but just as he dropped them into the chest, the companion snapped them up. Neither of them could see him, for he had on the Three-Sister Hat; and so the Troll locked up the chest for naught, and he hid the keys he had in the hollow eye tooth in which he had the toothache. There it would be hard work for any one to find them, the Troll thought.

So when midnight was past she set off home again. The companion got up behind the goat, and they lost no time on the way back.

Next day, about noon, the lad was asked down to the king's table; but then the princess gave herself such airs, and was so high and mighty, she would scarce look towards the side where the lad sat. After they had dined, she dressed her face in holiday garb, and said, as if butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, "Maybe you have those scissors which I begged you to keep yesterday?"

"Oh, yes, I have;" said the lad, "and here they are," and with that he pulled them out, and drove them into the table, till it jumped again. The princess could not have been more vexed had he driven the scissors into her face; but for all that she made herself soft and gentle, and said, "Since you have kept the scissors so well, it won't be any trouble to you to keep my golden ball of yarn, and take care you give it me tomorrow at noon; but if you have lost it, you shall lose your life on the scaffold. It is the law."

The lad thought that an easy thing, so he took and put the golden ball into his pocket. But she fell a-playing and flirting with him again, so that he forgot both himself and the golden ball, and while they were at the height of their games and pranks, she stole it from him, and sent him off to bed.

Then when he came up to his bedroom, and told what they had said and done, his companion asked, "Of course you have the golden ball she gave you?"

"Yes! yes!" said the lad, and felt in his pocket where he had put it; but no, there was no ball to be found, and he fell again into such an ill mood, and knew not which way to turn.

"Well! well! bear up a bit," said the companion. "I'll see if I can't lay hands on it;" and with that he took the sword and hat and strode off to a smith, and got twelve pounds of iron welded on to the back of the sword blade. Then he went down to the stable, and gave the billygoat a stroke between his horns, so that the brute went head over heels, and he asked, "When rides the princess to see her lover tonight?"

"At twelve o'clock," bleated the billygoat.