The Useless Wagoner

Once upon a time there lived a king who had a good-for-nothing wagoner. This fellow never did a lick of work; he spent all his days and nights in the tavern, singing, dancing, eating, and drinking, while the king's money paid for it all. At last the king grew weary of this, and he summoned the wagoner and gave him a mighty scolding. But you can't teach a dog to sit at table, and once the devil gets into a man, he stays there, so all the scolding was in vain. The Useless Wagoner went right back to his frolicking. Finally the king resolved to be rid of him, and calling him up, said, "Hear me, you work-shunning Useless Wagoner! I revile your mother if within twenty-four hours you do not make me a three-hundred-gallon cask, and if it has a single joint or seam, I'll impale you on a stake."

The Useless Wagoner said not a word to all this, but put a hamper on his back, took a cutting-axe in his hand, and strolled off to the forest to find a tree fit to make such a cask.

When he came to the forest, he was hungry and tired, so he sat down under a great shady tree, opened his hamper, and began to eat his lunch. He ate and ate, until all at once, from somewhere, a little fox appeared before him and begged for food. "Of course I'll give you something. The food came here, and it will stay here," said the wagoner, and he tossed a slice of bread and a bit of sausage to the fox.

When the fox had finished eating, she said, "Hear me, Useless Wagoner! As you have taken pity on me, I will take pity on you. Good deeds deserve good deeds. Though you haven't told me, I know why you've come to this forest. I know that the king is plotting to kill you, but he won't succeed, for I will help you out of your trouble and make you the three-hundred-gallon cask. And though a joint or seam is a small thing, even that will not be in it. Now lie down and rest."

And so it was. The Useless Wagoner lay down and rested. Meanwhile the little fox fashioned a three-hundred-gallon cask so skillfully that not a joint or seam could be seen in it.

When the cask was finished, the Useless Wagoner took it home and gave it to the king, who, after looking at it, dropped his eyes and his lip like a sheep; for neither his father, his grandfather, nor his great-grandfather had ever seen such a cunningly made cask, for not a seam nor a joint could be seen in it for gold.

Well and good for the moment; but soon the king summoned the Useless Wagoner again and cried, "Hear me, work-shunning Useless Wagoner! I revile your soul if within twenty-four hours you do not make me a chariot that will go by itself, without horses. I'll break you on the wheel!"

The Useless Wagoner said nothing, but put his hamper on his back, took his cutting-axe, and wandered off to the forest to find a tree fit for the chariot.

When he came to the forest, he was hungry and tired, so he sat down under a large shady tree, opened his hamper, and began to eat lunch. He ate and ate, until all at once, from somewhere, the little fox stood before him again and begged for food. "Of course, my dear little fox, I'll give you something. It came here, and it will stay here," he said, and threw her a piece of bread and a slice of ham. After she had eaten, the fox said, "Well, Useless Wagoner, good deeds deserve good deeds. Though you haven't told me, I know why you are here. I know the king is plotting to kill you, but he won't, for I shall help you out of trouble. I'll make you the chariot that goes by itself, without horses; but you lie down and rest."

And so it was. The Useless Wagoner stretched out to rest, and while he slept the little fox fashioned a beautiful chariot. When all was ready, she roused him and said, "Here is the chariot that runs of itself; you have only to step in and command it to stop in the king's courtyard. But I would tell you this: here is a whistle that will serve you; should you fall into trouble, just blow it, and it will help you."

The Useless Wagoner thanked the fox for her kindness and entered the chariot, which did not stop until it reached the king's courtyard.

When the king saw the chariot, he said nothing, but shook his head, turned on the Useless Wagoner in a rage, and cried, "Useless Wagoner, I revile your mother! In my stable there are a hundred hares; and if you do not herd them for three days, if you do not drive them to the field in the morning and bring them back at night so that not one of the hundred is missing, I'll strike off your head."

What was the poor Useless Wagoner to do? Against his will, and of necessity, he let the hundred hares out of the stable and drove them to the field. They had barely touched the edge of the field when they scattered in as many directions as there were hares. Who could bring them together again? The poor Useless Wagoner ran first after one and then after another; he chased the whole day but could not bring back a single hare. It was already growing late, time to go home, but the hundred hares were in a hundred places. The Useless Wagoner became terribly sad and wished to end his own life, for it was all the same whether he or the king took it; there was no salvation for him anyway. So he put his hand in his bosom to take out his clasp-knife and strike himself in the heart, but instead of the knife he found the whistle the little fox had given him. all the hares ran up to him as tame as pet lambs fed from the palm of the hand.

When all the hares had come together, he drove them home. The king stood at the gate and let them in one by one, counting, "One, two, three ... ninety-nine, a hundred." Not one was missing.

The next day the Useless Wagoner drove the hares out again, and as soon as they touched the edge of the field they scattered in all directions. But this time the Useless Wagoner did not run after them; he thought he would just blow his whistle and they would come. So he lay down in a nice shady place and slept to his liking.

But the king did not sleep; he racked his brain to destroy the Useless Wagoner. So he called his only and dearly beloved daughter and said to her, "My darling daughter, I have a great favor to ask of you."

"What may it be, my father the king?"

"Only this: that you dress in peasant's clothes, go to the field where the Useless Wagoner is herding the hundred hares, and beg one of him. If he will not give it for a good word, perhaps he will give it for a sweet kiss; but come not home to me without the hare, even if he asks a piece of your body for it."

The princess granted her father's request. She gathered her wits about her, dressed in peasant's clothes, and went to the field where the Useless Wagoner was sleeping at his leisure under a shady tree. The princess pushed him with her foot; he woke and saw in a moment with whom he had to deal.

"God give you a good day, hareherd!"

"God save you, king's daughter! What good do you bring the poor hareherd?"

"I have brought nothing but this: I have come because I would like to get one little hare. Would you not give even one for good money?"

"High princess, I will not give one for money; but if you will give me three kisses, I can give them back. Then I don't mind; I'll give you a hare."

So the princess got a hare for three pairs of kisses, and ran home very joyfully; but just as she was touching the latch to open the gate, the hareherd sounded his whistle, the hare jumped like lightning from her bosom, and did not stop until it reached the flock.

The hareherd drove home his flock; the king was waiting for him at the gate and let them in one by one, counting until he came to a hundred.

The next day the hareherd drove out his hares the third time, and left them to go their way.

Now the king called his wife to the white chamber and spoke thus to her: "My heart's beautiful love, I have a great favor to ask of you."

"And what may it be, my dear husband?"

"Only this: that you dress in peasant's clothes, go to the hareherd in the field, and ask him for a hare. If he will not give it for fair words, he may for a sweet kiss; but come not home to me without a hare, even if he asks a piece of your flesh."

So the queen yielded to her husband's request, put on a peasant's dress, and went to the field, where she found the Useless Wagoner sleeping in the shade. She roused him with her foot; he knew at once who was in the peasant's dress.

"God give you a good day, hareherd!"

"God save you, kind queen! What good have you brought the poor hareherd? Why have you come, may I ask?"

"I have only come to ask if you will give me a hare for good money."

"I will not give a hare for money, my queen; but if you will give me three kisses, I will return them again. Then I don't mind; I'll risk my head and let you have a hare."

So the queen got a hare for three pairs of kisses, and took her way home joyously; but just as she was putting her hand on the latch to open the gate, the hareherd sounded the whistle, the hare jumped like a flash from the queen's bosom, and did not stop until it joined its companions.

When the hares were all together, the hareherd drove them home. The king was waiting for him at the gate, let each in singly, counting until he reached a hundred, and not one was missing from the round number.

The next morning the hares were driven out as before; but the king now put on a peasant's dress and went to the field himself. When he came to the hareherd he said, "God give you good day!"

"God save you, poor man!" answered the hareherd. "What are you looking for?"

"Well, what's the use in delay or denial? I have come to buy a little hare from you for good money. Of course you will part with one."

"I will not give one for money; but if I can wear out twelve rods on your back, I don't mind; I'll risk my head on it."

What was the king to do? He stretched himself out with face and hands on the grass, and the hareherd flogged him as a corporal does a soldier; but he endured it all, gritting his teeth, and thinking to himself, "Wait a bit, thief of a Useless Wagoner, you'll have a dose when I get at you!"

But all to no use, for when the king had reached home and was just putting his hand on the latch to open the gate, the whistle sounded, and the hare sprang away from him like a flash and ran until it joined the flock.

Then the Useless Wagoner drove home the hundred hares a fourth time. The king was standing at the little gate; he counted them one by one, but could find no fault, for they were all there.

The Useless Wagoner drove out the hares the fifth time to pasture; but the king mounted the chariot which went wherever the owner commanded, and drove to the Useless Wagoner, taking three empty bags with him. "Hear me, you this-and-that-kind-of-work-shunning hareherd! I revile your soul! If you will not fill these three bags with truth, I will strike off your head."

To all this the Useless Wagoner answered in words: "The king's daughter came out; I gave her, and she gave me. The queen came; I gave her, and she gave me. The king came; I gave him, and he—"

"Stop! stop!" cried the king. "The three bags are full; and I'd rather be in hell than hear your words."

At this speech the chariot started off with the king, and never stopped until it took him to the bottom of hell.

Then the Useless Wagoner went home, married the king's daughter, became king, and reigns yet with his queen, unless he is dead.